RAM- Relationship Attachment Model
This is a model that should be considered when dating......
Know Trust Rely Commit Touch
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
Imagine each one of these categories have their own scale. The order of each categorie is very important. When we enter into a relationship we should aim first and formost to know who that person is. After we have developed a certain level of "knowing" we can begin to trust them. after we trust them for a time we can then begin to rely on them for certain things. After some time has past and we can rely on that person we begin to increase our level of commitment towards that person and once we have commitment to that person we can introduce physical touch. This model makes perfect sense- why would you ever want to trust someone more than you know them or rely on them when you haven't established any trust? so it makes sense that we follow this pattern of obtaining these attributes in our relationships before moving on. Each privious category should always be higher than the preoceeding one. The one thing that seems to be the most frustrating about this model is that touch is the last. It isn't very desireable/ easy to hold off on physical touch and intimacy because there is something inside us that is naturally drawn to do those things. BUT what benefits are there for postponing touch in a relationship? One of the biggest ones I have experienced is that it confuses your feelings of arousal with your feelings of love. It's easy to say we love someone when we have a good physical connection with them but that means nothing unless you are able to form a solid relationship with them as well. The best time to begin the basis of creating a solid relationship is from the very beginning. Have you ever heard the saying "what happens fast ends fast?" I think we all have personal experience with that one. There are benefits that we can have if we learn to postpone kissing and other intimate physical touch. Not only will we form a better connection and trust with that person but when we finally do ad physical touch to the relationship it will mean so much more and will draw they two of you closer together than just being something you like to do just because it "feels good".
Know Trust Rely Commit Touch
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
--X----- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ---X---- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ----X--- ----X------ ----X-----
This is a model that should be considered when dating......
Know Trust Rely Commit Touch
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
Imagine each one of these categories have their own scale. The order of each categorie is very important. When we enter into a relationship we should aim first and formost to know who that person is. After we have developed a certain level of "knowing" we can begin to trust them. after we trust them for a time we can then begin to rely on them for certain things. After some time has past and we can rely on that person we begin to increase our level of commitment towards that person and once we have commitment to that person we can introduce physical touch. This model makes perfect sense- why would you ever want to trust someone more than you know them or rely on them when you haven't established any trust? so it makes sense that we follow this pattern of obtaining these attributes in our relationships before moving on. Each privious category should always be higher than the preoceeding one. The one thing that seems to be the most frustrating about this model is that touch is the last. It isn't very desireable/ easy to hold off on physical touch and intimacy because there is something inside us that is naturally drawn to do those things. BUT what benefits are there for postponing touch in a relationship? One of the biggest ones I have experienced is that it confuses your feelings of arousal with your feelings of love. It's easy to say we love someone when we have a good physical connection with them but that means nothing unless you are able to form a solid relationship with them as well. The best time to begin the basis of creating a solid relationship is from the very beginning. Have you ever heard the saying "what happens fast ends fast?" I think we all have personal experience with that one. There are benefits that we can have if we learn to postpone kissing and other intimate physical touch. Not only will we form a better connection and trust with that person but when we finally do ad physical touch to the relationship it will mean so much more and will draw they two of you closer together than just being something you like to do just because it "feels good".
Know Trust Rely Commit Touch
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
--X----- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ---X---- ------- ---------- ---------
------- ------- ----X--- ----X------ ----X-----
No comments:
Post a Comment